Just Listed
chill brew
Just a Chill Brew
The flagship. A medium roast with strong bones, great natural light, and absolutely nothing to prove. Move-in ready.
12 ctmedium0 drama
$14.99per box
MLS# CH-001 · listed 1 min ago
Just ListedA chill house.
A chill house.
Yours for the brewing.
Welcome to the only listing on the market that pays you back in coffee. Twelve pods per box, zero utility per coin, and curb appeal that never dips below the floor. Schedule a brewing — walk-ins welcome, it’s your kitchen.
0% down12 ct per box1 POD = 1 PODmotivated roaster
📷 12 photos
♡
LISTING PHOTO — THE HOUSE, BEING CHILL, AS USUAL
6blends listed
5pieces of merch
0utility
∞chill
Featured Listings
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Just Listed
gm blend
GM Blend
A bright breakfast roast for the only greeting that matters. Sun-drenched kitchen, east-facing, gm exposure all morning.
12 ctlight-medgm certified
$14.99per box
MLS# CH-002 · listed at sunrise
Price Reduced
paper hands
Paper Hands Light
A delicate light roast for sellers. Weak, watery, and gone by 9am. Priced to move — it always is.
12 ctlightsells fast
MLS# CH-003 · relisted 14 times
Just Listed
diamond dark
Diamond Hands Dark
A dark roast that holds up under pressure. Strong foundation, stronger finish. Never sells — neither do you.
12 ctdarkholds forever
$15.99per box
MLS# CH-004 · off-market since forever
Just Listed
chimney smoke
Chimney Smoke
A smoky dark roast, cured slowly over the chimney. Tastes like the one place the chart can't reach: home.
12 ctdark+smokefireplace incl.
$15.99per box
MLS# CH-005 · smoke detector included
Sold
decaf
Hands-In-Pockets Decaf
Swiss-water decaf for people already chill enough. Currently sold — the buyer's agent says they're "never leaving."
12 ctdecafmax chill
$14.99per box
MLS# CH-006 · sold to a chill guy
Just Listed
Die-Cut Sticker Pack
Five stickers of the house, for your laptop, water bottle, or actual house. Instantly raises curb appeal of any surface.
5 packvinylweatherproof
$8.00per pack
MLS# CH-007 · zoned: everywhere
Just Listed
House-Head Enamel Pin
1.5 inches of hard enamel curb appeal. Put the house on your jacket and carry the whole property with you.
1.5 inenamel2 posts
$12.00each
MLS# CH-008 · tiny lot, big presence
Just Listed
Keys to the Chill House
An enamel keychain. Not your keys — the keys. Opens every door that leads to a kitchen with coffee in it.
2 inenamel1 ring
$10.00each
MLS# CH-009 · lockbox code: gm
Just Listed
Just a Chill Mug
An 11oz ceramic vessel engineered to hold exactly one mug of chill. Dishwasher safe, emotionally available.
11 ozceramicvery chill
$18.00each
MLS# CH-010 · open concept interior
Just Listed
Roof Beanie
A knit beanie that's a roof for your head. Keeps the attic warm all winter. Terracotta, obviously.
1 sizeknitroof-grade
$24.00each
MLS# CH-011 · great insulation
Looking to sell?
Bad idea. But if you must, the Paper Hands Light is listed above.
Talk to an AgentThe Neighborhood
How this house got so chill
Every great property has a backstory. This one starts with a guy who was chill and a coin that was a house. The market did what the market does: it added them together.
No developer team. No roadmap — just a floor plan. The house stands on its own, hands in pockets, completely unbothered. The coffee is simply what the kitchen was always for.
1 POD = 1 POD. That’s the whole prospectus.
$CHILLGUYcomp #1 — the guy
$HOUSEcomp #2 — the coin
$CHILLHOUSEsubject property
Exhibit A — the math that built the house.
Word Around the Block
The residents speak
Moved in last Tuesday. The GM Blend changed my mornings and the mug changed my personality. Five stars, would chill again.
🧑0x7f3…b21dverified resident
★★★★★
I came for the coin, I stayed for the Chimney Smoke. My portfolio is down but my kitchen has never smelled better.
👩diamondhandsdebholds the dark roast
★★★★★
Toured the open house, put in an offer on three boxes same day. The agent just nodded and said “gm.” Based.
🧔ser-buying-podsclosed in 2 days
★★★★★
Open house: every morning, your kitchen.
No appointment necessary. No closing costs. Closing is just the pod lid.
Schedule a BrewingDisclosures
Frequently asked questions
Is this financial advice?
No. This is a coffee website that happens to be shaped like a house. Not financial advice. Not coffee advice either. Not real estate advice, despite everything you just read.
Do the pods work in my brewer?
Yes — every box is standard K-Cup® 2.0 compatible pods. If your machine takes K-Cups, it takes these. The machine will not become sentient, but it will become chill.
What’s the utility?
Caffeine. That’s it. That’s the utility. The coin has no utility and the coffee has exactly one, which puts the coffee ahead of most tokens.
What’s the roadmap?
There is no roadmap. There is a floor plan: kitchen → mug → porch. We’re currently in the kitchen phase and plan to stay there.
Who is the team?
There is no team. There is a house. The house does not do interviews.
Why does the decaf keep selling out?
Because some holders are already at maximum chill and refuse to sell. We respect it. Join the waitlist and stay patient — very on-brand.